1. OMG, Socialist Propaganda!
Before the first shot was even put, there was ample reason to take offense. First, Fox Nation got a case of the vapors when it posted a story headlined, “London Protesters March Against ‘Capitalist’ Games,” and then it turned out that the whole country hates capitalism because included in the opening ceremonies wasa nod to Britain’s National Health Service, which probably has death panels and is like an ugly offspring from a union of Stalin and Mao.
2. Not Enough Jingoism!
Perhaps Fox’s overarching problem with the games was best summed up by right-wing satellite radio host David Webb, when he said…
What we’re seeing is this kind of soft anti-American feeling, that Americans can’t show our exceptionalism. And frankly, if they are offended about us showing our exceptionalism, then they have that right and I don’t care. And neither do most Americans. We’ve also lost over time that jingoistic feeling.
4. Too French!
Everyone knows that only gay people and the French (but I repeat myself) wear berets. Real Men, and Americans (again, redundant) wear cowboy hats!
At least according to Fox and Friends’ lead moron Steve Doocy, who asked, “Should the American team be wearing a beret? Why not a baseball cap? Why not a cowboy hat like when we went to Calgary?”
8. Oh, Noes – Taxes!!
Easily duped, Fox viewers were outraged when the network picked up a post by Grover Norquist’s Americans for Tax Reform claiming that American athletes were taxed up to $9,000 on their gold medals! For shame, the moochers sucking from our noble job creating athletes this way.
This is not true, but that didn’t stop Fox from throwing a poutrage at the way we treat these noble — if unpatriotic and beret-wearing — athletes.